Charlatan line launches 12.07.09

We introduced you to the faces behind the London based womanswear brand Charlatan a while back, and now the label which caters to ‘young and outspoken girls’ through ‘killer heels, cocktails and knuckledusters’ finally debuts their exclusive pieces alongside labels such as Trapstar and A.IN.T and NYC brands Mishka and Award Tour on 12.07.09 at the ‘Off The Radar’ event at Westbourne Studios, London, W10 from 11am – 7pm

Print off the flyer above for 10% off Charlatan at the event.

''Big Brother is taking over my life''

I’m not entirely sure as to why though, because lets be honest, it’s pretty shit. 16 fame-obsessed and talentless pricks entering a house to see who can get the highest fee from Heat or OK magazine when they get booted out, is not something that a cultured writer such as myself should be enthralled to view, but I am. I love, sorry loved that little Indian fellow that couldn’t speak proper English. He entered the house with the union jack tackily emblazoned across his chest, yet he struggled to string together a coherent sentence while he was in there. How ironic!

Then you have people who are so desperate for fame, that they allow Big Brother to change their names to ‘Halfwit’ and ‘Dogface’ by deed poll. It’s a pretty depressing snapshot of modern-day cuntery. But for some reason, I still watch it seven days a week. I even try to catch the pointless spin-off shows like ‘Big Mouth’ and ‘Big Brother’s Little Brother’, which are even more depressing than the main show. I don’t even want to fuck any of the girls in the house, which was my one feeble excuse for watching it before.



The other day I had a dream that the Big Brother house was entirely populated by characters from ‘coming of age’ movies from the 80’s. Molly Ringwald was experimenting with dykery with that Breakfast Club chick with all the dandruff and Ferris Bueller was there too, being…well, just being awesome. Weird.

Words: Donald Crunk

People who were cool in high-school always turn into douchebags

Remember those people who you thought were really cool when you were in high-school? You know, the girls who dressed really well and got all the boys and the boys who had the all the muscles and used to talk about how many blow jobs they got while they were watching Ren smack the shit out of Stimpy? Well, those people kinda suck, now. All the girls have two kids and three different babyfathers, which is insane, because it doesn’t even add up. All it does is showcase how bad they really were at Math. Losers!

Now don’t look at this blog as some 'revenge of the nerds’ type gig, or anything. Sure, I got fucked up a few times for wearing the wrong shoes or having a crappy haircut, but I have a job now. And no kids. I win, right? I never really got where 50 was going with that ‘Damn homey – in high-school you were the man homey…what the fuck happened to you?!’ line, but now I totally do. Basically, being cool in high-school usually equates to having no job and being a douche in later life. It’s like all the people who were at the bottom of the high-school status-pole are now rad individuals. Fuck you, popularity!

Here are some people who were probably really lame in school, but they’ve now transformed into Gnarly-bots. Or Awesome-cons. Whatever.

Lady Gaga

Donald Crunk once said that 'Lady Gaga is our generations Bowie'. He was probably right.

Daisy Lowe

The best fucking supermodel on the fucking planet.

Luke Kook

He probably got punked on pretty hard for his overbite, but look at him now. He looks like some kind of Prince. Or maybe like someone really important in the navy.

Drake

Soon to be the best (allegedly) gay singing rapper signed to Cash Money, ever.

Amber Rose

The best fucking whore on the fucking planet.

Shia Labeouf

If he hasn’t fucked Megan Fox yet, he’s definitely thought about it.

Solange Knowles

Yeah, I wish I could live off my sister’s fame and fuck people in the eye with multi-coloured spandex, too.

Words: New Pork City
1st Pic: Ellis Scott

Michael Joseph Jackson 1958– 2009

You’re probably aware that the world’s greatest pop star is no longer with us, after passing away yesterday morning due to heart problems, most likely brought on by the prospect of performing 50 concert shows in gruelling succession. Without a doubt, Michael Jackson was influential, iconic and unpredictable. At this time, many people’s thoughts will be with Michael's family and multitude of fans, but please spare some time to lend your thoughts to Michael's friend, confidant and long-time associate Bubbles.

Through thick and thin Bubbles has stood alongside Michael, always providing a hairy shoulder to cry on or thoughtful, but never preachy advice. Sure, he was a chimpanzee, but Bubbles had balls. Big ones. He was once rumoured to have killed a small man with his bare chimp- hands, but that’s not important. His heart was strong - strong enough to crush the tallest giant. But not with aggression - with pure, unadulterated, love.

Words: Donald Crunk

Dazed: YCE

Dazed recently featured a slew of YCE's (Young Creative Entrepreneurs) such as the brains behind Merok Records, The Jak & Jill blog, Mad Decent and Dante Fried Chicken. Check out each entrepreneurs profile here.